It is a privilege to be in good health — both emotional and physical. Proper bhakti and particularly meditation is very difficult when I’m sick or when my mind is agitated. A slight pain in the eyes is sufficient to spoil a meditation session 😦
Mind runs in all directions — it likes to imagine problems and solve them. Things that would probably never happen, it likes to imagine those and ultimately resulting in worry of some sort. I try to ‘watch’ the thoughts as they arise in my mind. Have you ever closely watched milk or tea boiling on a stove? Bubbles form so quickly that before you fix your eyes on one, the next one had already pushed it into the air and with a blup it vanishes. It happens so fast that you cannot see how a bubble forms and how it vanishes. If you record this phenomenon on a video and play it frame-by-frame at a much reduced speed, you’ll probably see what’s going on in the tea pot, how the bubbles form and vanish.
Mind is much like that tea pot continuously producing the bubbles of thoughts. I want to watch these bubbles as they form and eventually be able to stop and start their flow at will. Imagine, you are sitting in meditation and after a while your mind starts to feel bound and tries to escape, that is, it wants you to get up. You probably resist the initial few attempts of the mind. Unless you are highly focussed and attached to something within and are enjoying it, the disruptive thoughts keep raising their head. At some point you give in to such thoughts and you get up. Meditation session is over. This leaves you frustrated because you had set out to sit for a longer time than what you actually sat for! Now you slowly rewind the scene, and find out how did you exactly gave in to those thoughts that made you to get up? I need to find this out and fix the damn thing 😦