Grace of the Kaamil Murshid

Company of a Kaamil Murshid (True Master) gradually changes the life of a disciple – howsoever lowly and dirty may be the deeds and thoughts of the disciple. The whole perspective changes – we slowly start seeing the true meaning of Master’s words! Masters of all times and cultures have said the same things. I recently read a book on Saeen Bulleh Shah who was a Kaamil Murshid himself (around 1700 AD in India). I’ve been listening to His poetry (popular in Punjab) and enjoying the most beautiful expressions of love and seperation I’ve ever seen. The depth and true spiritual meaning of each tuk of His powerful kalaam I could understand only now! I can not imagine how high would be His spiritual state by just intellectual reading of whose expressions itself has made me cry!

Invisible man

Everyday I come across three men. These three different looking men, though have something in common amongst them, stir different kind thoughts in my mind. These three men – all in the latter years of their lives – are homeless. At times I’ve heared one of them, who stands outside the subway station exit, murmering a feeble and barely audible ”some change please“. He can be seen outside the station both in the morning as well as in the evening. The second one stands accross the road from subway station near the cafe, holding a placard that reads something which says he’s living with AIDS. And there’s the third one who has some strange serene glow on his face – perhaps because of his white beard. He keeps on holding out his cup with both hands and his head and eyes lowered and kind of lost in some deep meditation. My heart cries when I think about the pain each one these men must have gone through while their ego was crushed and they have to force themselves to beg. People move in front them as if these men were invisible. It makes me feel very sad when I think about such helpless people.

Satguru’s Will

As usual, the Satsang this weekend was amazing. There’s always a personal message the we all bring home from such discourses. One of the point that hit me was “moving from expectations to submission”. I often struggle with my feeble mind to figure out what is His Will. I’m constantly on the lookout for a formula that can be used to evaluate any given situation to find out whether the situation is His Will or someone else’s. I’ve not been very happy with my life since past few years. Every day it seems to be aggravating. This forces me to seek shelter in Satguru’s teachings. In a way this is very good as it forces me to look inside me. Coming back to the satsang’s point of “moving from expectation to submision”, I think the need is to relax the mind. I try to counsel my mind that: “Look, you have done the best you could do for achieving happiness and harmony in your worldly life. You have taken every possible care under your control not to hurt anyone and keep everyone happy. Despite that if you do not get the peace and happiness, then perhaps this is what is His mauj. While going through it, you may clearly see that others may not be acting rationally or may be acting in very selfish manner, thus causing much pain in your life, but still the need is to overlook their failures and shortcomings. Perhaps this is what He wants them to do. However, at the same time do not keep lying like a doormat in front of them for ever. Move on and protect yourself. Keep your life objective, that Guru has taught, in front of you all the time.”

ਕਦੇ ਕਦੇ ਮੈੰ ਏਹ ਸੋਚ ਕੇ..

… that what should I really do to get some peace of mind? ਮੇਰੀ ਹਾਲਤ ਏਹੋ ਜੇਹੀ ਹੈ ਕੇ ਮੈਨੂੰ ਇੰਝ ਲਗਦਾ ਹੈ ਜਿਵੇੰ ਮੇਰੇ ਹੱਥ ਵਿੱਚ ਕੁਝ ਵੀ ਨਹੀ … I know nothing!

Hukam

gur nwnk jI dw ieh buhq hI sundr aupdyS hY:

soriT mhlw 1 Gru 1 AstpdIAw cauqukI

ijau clwey iqau cwlh BweI hor ikAw ko kry cqurweI ]6] ieik Brim Bulwey ieik BgqI rwqy qyrw Kylu Apwrw ] ijqu quDu lwey qyhw Plu pwieAw qU hukim clwvxhwrw ] syvw krI jy ikCu hovY Apxw jIau ipMfu qumwrw ] siqguir imilAY ikrpw kInI AMimRq nwmu ADwrw ]7] ggnqir vwisAw gux prgwisAw gux mih igAwn iDAwn ] nwmu min BwvY khY khwvY qqo qqu vKwn ] sbdu gur pIrw gihr gMBIrw ibnu sbdY jgu baurwn ] pUrw bYrwgI shij suBwgI scu nwnk mnu mwn ]8]1]

pMjwbI ivAwiKAw :

hy BweI! koeI AwdmI AwpxI isAwxp dw mwx nhIN kr skdw, ijvyN ijvyN prmwqmw swnuM jIvW nuM (jIvn-rwh auqy) qordw hY iqvyN iqvyN hI AsI qurdy hW [6[hy Apwr pRBU! AnykW jIv Btkxw ivc (pw ky) kurwhy pwey hoey hn, AnykW jIv qyrI BgqI (dy rMg) ivc rMgy hoey hn [ieh (sB) qyrw Kyl (ricAw hoieAw) hY [ ijs pwsy qUM jIvW nuM lwieAw hoieAw hY auho ijhw Pl jIv Bog rhy hn [ qUM (sB jIvW nuM) Awpxy hukm ivc clwx dy smr`Q hYN [ (myry pws) jy koeI cIz myrI AwpxI hovy qW (mYN ieh AwKx dw &Kr kr skW ik) mYN qyrI syvw kr irhw hW, pr myrI ieh ijMd qyrI hI id`qI hoeI hY qy myrw srIr BI qyrw hI id`qw hoieAw hY [ jy gurU iml pey qW auh ikrpw krdw hY qy Awqmk jIvn dyx vwlw qyrw nwm mYnuM (izMdgI dw) Awsrw dyNdw hY [7[hy nwnk! jo mnu`K sdw au~cy Awqmk mMfl ivc v`sdw hY (suriq itkweI r`Kdw hY) aus dy AMdr Awqmk gux prgt huMdy hn, Awqmk guxW nwl auh fUMGI sWJ pweI r`Kdw hY, Awqmk guxW ivc hI aus dI suriq juVI rihMdI hY (auhI mnu`K pUrn iqAwgI hY)

The 3Ds

Most of the time I find myself struggling to balance the 3Ds – desires, duties and devotion to the Lord – of my life. I sometimes wonder what if my life ends tomorrow. And at some other times I feel all these jotting down of my thoughts, frustrations and emotions is futile and a wastage of time and energy. Life goes on as it has been ordained to go. The persistently recurring question is: Why I’m so restless most of the time; why the sporadic lulls so shotlived? Well, to find the remedy for a problem it is always necessary to first understand what the problem is and why it is there in the first place. Root of the problem lies in when I find myself trying to find leasting pleasure and happiness in anything perceivable by senses. I may get some temporary pleasure by way of the above. But the cost usually is very high – attachment to that object of pleasure. The above attachment slowly leads to a situation when I start believing that the object is mine. It’s like a child who, though, can forget the cute pet he plays with for a while at a store, but finds it so tough to even share it with friends later if mommy happens to buy him that pet. He just starts wrongly believing that the pet is his forever!

Being a Satsangi I know I’ve been bestowed with the greatest weapon to fight such situations, but the enemy too is formidable. I guess I’ve to overhaul my approach to life. As Maharaj Ji said that we should deal with our duties and asociations in our life like a store manager and not like owner of the store. Unlike the owner, the store manager is not bothered much about whether there is a loss or profit to the business; all he cares about is his assigned work and the wages.

I think with so many deep grooves of desires and attachments in my mind it will take a lot of training and nudging for my mind to function like a shop manager in the big shop called life whose owner is the Lord and to believe that any profit or loss to the shop is His business and not mine.

The beast called mind

My mind is the most formidable of my enemies in the universe. Whenever and wherever it wants it starts making me dance to its diktats. I pray only to Him to save me from my mind.

Painting our life sketches

An author had the following to say in connection with our limited intellect and Lord’s Grace:

“… Our real needs and wants are not those that are most apparent to us. The conditions we believe we need to grow are often not the conditions which promote true growth.
A monk who needed oil planted an olive sapling. Then he prayed for gentle showers for its tender roots, then for the sun to warm it and then for the frost to brace its tissues. He was puzzled to find the tree sparkling with frost but lifeless at the end and unable to supply his needs. In life, too, we lay down so many conditions that we are unable to grow spiritually.
The monk’s brother housed in another cell had also planted a tree, but prayed for it to thrive and entrusted it and what it needed to God. The tree thrived because God supplied its needs knowing better than the monk all that it truly needed to survive.
We are painting our life sketches and planting our life trees. Some of us choose stagnation, others growth. If we remain caught up in superficialities, we finally stagnate. We have to go beyond and look for the truly abiding hidden in the surface turmoil and cries of the battlefield to discover true rest. We cannot paint both pictures at the same time. We choose either life or death.”

Fantasy redeemer

I started the journey in a beautiful weather
In the hope that we’ll be always together.

In all my dreams I put you as first
In the hopes to strengthen what we share as trust.

With you alone I wanted to enjoy
The little things I did.

Around you alone is my everything woven
There’s a trace of you in every step I’ve taken.

At times I wonder
If I’m a fantasy redeemer.

Taking the test

At times I come accros something or someone that uncovers and makes me think about those weaker points about me which are not comfortable to think about. Those are the kind of points which I always know are there in me and often try to correct them as well, but with little success. Recently I was reading a great Saint’s message which showed me my true picture.

“When people think that they have renounced everything as a result of reading holy books and analytical thinking, they are only deceiving themselves. It is a great mistake. They have not yet tested their mind and senses. When they are brought face to face with the allurements of sensual pleasures, or flattered by the rich or powerful, they will see how the mind feels happy and attentive to such seductions; and also how the mind reacts to censure, dishonor, or the denial of the object of desire. It shows that the desire for honor and respect and fame and for travels and sight-seeing is still very strong in the mind. To look upon outward renunciation, detachment, or the reading of spiritual books as true Parmarth is also a mistake, for the mind is not vanquished by these means.”

“… What boots it to denounce the pleasures of this world and the next as the refuse on which crows feed, while secretly the mind harbors the desire for and seeks the opportunities to enjoy those very pleasures? Alas, they do not even realize the discrepancy between what they say and what they do!”